THE ANATOMY OF A TRADITIONAL NORTH INDIAN WEDDING (9) - RECEPTION (Part-2): DINNER EVENING AT HOME IN NEW DELHI

THE ANATOMY OF A TRADITIONAL NORTH INDIAN WEDDING (9) - RECEPTION (Part-2): DINNER EVENING AT HOME IN NEW DELHI.
                                                      "ECO FRIENDLY - EARTH FRIENDLY - ZERO PLASTICS"

  We mentioned Girish's Dad, Jagat Prakash Nadda, is the President of the largest political party of the World. That's a straightforward cue as to what the 'guest list' would have looked like. That is also an indicator of how big & intricate the arrangements had to be made. Fortunately the Chief Hostess, Malika Nadda, can single-handedly replace an entire event management corporate house. A friendly reception center, a sharp & strict security (after all high-risk personalities were going to be there), a stage for the Newly Weds to meet a stream of guests, a reception hall for all to mingle and a dining hall with food stations. Oh yes, all these were big and roomy and very carefully laid out.
  So the rain came thundering down an hour before the arrival of the first guests! The Gods above once again giving their approval and sending down rivers of Blessings. Malika had known about it so she had everything, all shamianas, water-proofed. At the appointed time the skies settled down and calm prevailed for the gala evening. "Go ahead", said the Gods!
  His Excellency The President of India, H.E. The Vice President, The Hon'ble Prime Minister were there to give their felicitations to the Family and blessings to Girish & Prachi. So also were there the hierarchy of the government of India, top echelons of the political party, luminaries, senior workers of the party, spokespersons and of course friends & family. While everyone took turns to greet the young couple, warm socializing went on. Such an occasion is one where lots and lots of clicking of photos with friends and family go on - to carry home memories of meetings on a joyous celebration.
  Let me give you a glimpse of the dining hall. Neat, hygienic, comfortable was the overall scene as one stepped in. There was a wide array of food stations that had cuisines from every part of the country to cater to all palates. It was all Vegan. And it had been Vegan at all functions throughout the celebrations. It is astonishing what an enormous, what an extensive variety of delicious food is available in Vegan cuisines. For those with a sweet tooth, like me, had a bonanza!
   So what were the memorable highlights of the evening? A great occasion for members of the extended family and friends who missed the earlier functions to catch up with each other. Introductions and chit chatting with personalities familiar on the electronic media. And of course general celebratory merry-making. But the 'high-spot' of the function, especially for the young couple, was undoubtedly the distinguished presence of the charismatic Prime Minister Narendra Modi. He brings in instant warmth and cheer. Girish and Prachi will surely always cherish the blessings he showered on them and the cheer he added to the auspicious occasion.
  A terrific evening for all!
  As I close, I must state that Girish & Prachi exhibited great energy , a cheerful demeanor throughout all ceremonies and functions and in between did the long travels. They both showed what stuff they are made of. That is what will hold them in good stead as they move on in their journey of life in togetherness. The parents would be so proud of them.

                                HERE'S WISHING GIRISH & PRACHI A HAPPY & WONDERFUL WEDDED LIFE

  Do enjoy going through the photo gallery.

 Anatomy-9 Gallery Reception (Part-2) Evening Dinner At Home: https://photos.app.goo.gl/j9P3jcJzGyc78YKE8

THE ANATOMY OF A TRADITIONAL NORTH INDIAN WEDDING (8) - RECEPTION (Part-1): DHAM AT FAMILY HOME

THE ANATOMY OF A TRADITIONAL NORTH INDIAN WEDDING (8) - RECEPTION (Part-1): DHAM AT FAMILY HOME. The fairy-tale setting is on the Shivalik Hills, Lower Himalayas, at the romantic hamlet Vijaypur (Bilaspur), Himachal Pradesh. It's not flat ground. So the array of colorful Shamianas pitched at different levels in harmony with nature's landscape is what you see. At every level, under each shamiana different things will happen. Remember, it's a Dham for a Big Celebration.

  BEFORE I PROCEED FURTHER WITH THE DESCRIPTION, IT IS TIME FOR ME TO REVEAL THE THEME AROUND WHICH ALL CEREMONIES & FUNCTIONS WERE CONCEPTUALIZED & ORGANISED - "ECO FRIENDLY - EARTH FRIENDLY - ZERO PLASTICS". And this theme was practiced to a 'T' from start to finish. All disposables were biodegradable natural material, for example, 'Pattal' plates, which in North & Central India are made from Sal tree leaves. We can only applaud such a strictly followed concept by a family that has always espoused eco promoting projects.

   A “Dham”, as explained briefly in a previous Chapter, is a four to five course community feast served in a traditional manner with visitors seated on long, winding narrow matting or ground level platforms. You can be seated at a table if that works better for your comfort. A Dham usually starts around mid day & carries on till late evening - people come at their own convenience whenever free from their work or as dictated by their travel time. The meals are prepared by 'Bhotis' who are either professionals or volunteers with great talent in this unique style of 'Gastronomy' of Himachal Pradesh. One can classify them as 'Super Chefs' if volume, excellence, hygiene, freshness & taste were the main criteria. It may take barely 20 minutes to serve all five courses to a group of as big as 150 at a time - the servers are village volunteers adept at this form of traditional service. And the next group may be ready to be served with just 10 minutes of resetting. After all, several thousands of guests may have to be served. All are esteemed guests here, no VIPs. People come to participate in a Dham not just to enjoy a hearty meal but to express sentiments of warm friendship with the host. Womenfolk, in particular, come in their colorful attires to make it a real festive occasion. Integral parts of the format are music, folk dances, paying individual salutations to the Host Family members and of course of socializing & chance meetings of friends and relatives. Invitations are sent out across the community through Viva Voce or Word-of-Mouth. All well-wishers try and get represented by at least one member of their families.
  So if the Host is the President of the largest political party of the World...in this case Girish's Dad, Jagat Prakash Nadda,.... if the hostess is a celebrated leader in social work...in this case Girish's Mom, Malika Nadda,...and the whole Family led by Girish's Grand Dad, Dr NL Nadda, is a very popular and loved unit in the entire region, you can imagine how many guests would come and grace the Dham and bless the young Newly Weds. There were indeed over 10,000 guests at the Dham. 20 'Kitchens' were at work for a common menu. The Hierarchy - Governor, Chief Minister & his cabinet colleagues - folks from all walks of life, from far and wide came to bless Girish & Prachi. The couple stood throughout, a tough job, with their warm smiles accepting with grace the Blessings being showered on them by each and every guest. In Hindu mythology, all the blessings you get from elders, who have walked the earth much longer, are an invaluable gift that helps to add to your treasury of knowledge, wisdom, honesty, fortune, strength and fame.
  Rain at the start of an auspicious ceremony, function or an expedition is considered a very good omen, and if it is a wedding related function, it signifies happiness and prosperity to the couple and the family. That's what happened! It rained cats and dogs, upsetting arrangements. No disappointment - things were quickly put in place even as the first guests were arriving. There was cheer that the Gods had sent their approval and Their Special Blessings!
  Then everything went on like clock-work. There was reverberating music by groups of traditional musicians. Lots of guests took turns to join the troupes in the 'Nati' - a traditional group dance which is a must during celebrations. Apart from guests meeting the young couple, they all went personally to convey their felicitations to Girish's Dad who situated himself at a spot to make it convenient for everyone. So also Malika who received lady guests at another spot. Many of the elder guests went up to Dr NL Nadda to pay their respects and felicitations. Another popular figure of the family who was sought after was Girish's uncle, Jagat Bhushan Nadda, an eminent educationist. Indeed of course the more intimate friends could manage the privilege of meeting the Grand Aunts, Aunts and other members of the family. I have dwelt upon this aspect because it is considered a most essential part of the function - guests go back satisfied that they had personally met the hosts despite the large numbers and have a story to tell their respective families. Remember everyone is an esteemed guest!
  To round it off, at such a function there is no ostentation, everything is simple and celebratory. Guests meet the couple and hosts, participate in the Nati, greet each other, enjoy a feast and go back home. The young couple gather their blessings, the hosts show their warmth and the day ends triumphantly late in the evening. Have a glance at the photo gallery.
  THAT IS AN OVERVIEW OF WHAT A TRADITIONAL 'RECEPTION' IS IN THE HILL STATE OF HIMACHAL PRADESH!

Anatomy-8 Gallery Reception (Part-1) Dham: https://photos.app.goo.gl/eWuS7EwpC136yoNE6

THE ANATOMY OF A TRADITIONAL NORTH INDIAN WEDDING (7) - VADHU PRAVESH (Part-2)

THE ANATOMY OF A TRADITIONAL NORTH INDIAN WEDDING (7) - VADHU PRAVESH (Part-2) - It's about ceremonies embracing the arrival & welcome of the Bride, and her crossing over the threshold of her new home.
NOW WE ARE AT THE THRESHOLD. It's a memorable and heart-warming moment as a new member of the Family is about to formally enter the household. With the first step across, the Bride tips over a small tumbler full of rice grains with her right bare foot. That symbolizes that she is bringing in good fortune and energy to the home. Prachi then steps in with both feet into a large salver which has a thick spread of 'Kum Kum' (Kum Kum is a red cosmetic powder made from turmeric which is considered pure & auspicious), She proceeds to walk into the house leaving behind footprints of Kum Kum - this signifies that Goddess Lakshmi is entering the house bringing in prosperity, love and happiness. Remember we earlier talked that in Hindu mythology the Bride is equated with the divinity of Lakshmi and that's the nature of respect that is always bestowed upon her. Malika and Family walk along, guiding her through different rooms. The atmosphere is now quickly changing from seriousness to one of merriment and fun by light-hearted banter and leg-pulling by the younger lot - and even the senior lot chip in.
Before we get on to the fun and frolic part, a crucial serious job needs to be done - TO STRIKE A RAPPORT BETWEEN THE MOTHER-IN-LAW AND DAUGHTER-IN-LAW. It's symbolic! Here the pretty bride Prachi takes a spoonful of Yoghurt & Honey (considered very auspicious) and feeds her very amiable Mother-in-Law, Malika Nadda. Applause! And then the indulgent Mom, Malika, reciprocates with lots of love & warmth. Cheering and Applause! The Rapport is Struck forever - for life! Don't go by the usual Mother-in-law stories!!
The hilarious fun begins. It's been a long and arduous journey of ceremony to ceremony, function after function. Prachi is a tough girl. She has kept up her charming, cool smile throughout. We are not mentioning Girish as he and his younger brother, Harish, are strong & skillful footballers with enormous stamina. This fun event is an ice breaker for the Bride - it's time for her to enter The Gang & be part of it! The Bride & the Bridegroom are pitted against each other in some small little competitive games. It could be a quiz about the two families, it could be games involving nimbleness of the hands or agility of the mind. I must tell you what happened in the most popular of the games. There is this shallow, wide, round dish filled about four inches deep of a mixture of milk and water and floating on it is a layer of rose petals. In it is dropped a coin. Girish and Prachi sit by its side and on the word ‘GO’ by the Referee, they dart one hand each into the liquid. Whoever comes up with the coin is the winner. "On your marks, get set, GO". And both are splashing away, putting their heart and soul to win. It's not easy to grab the coin in these conditions. "Cheating, Cheating", cry out Girish's supporters as Prachi comes up triumphantly with the coin. Well, in this game of wits & agility cheating is allowed, especially if you have the swiftness to trick a referee of the caliber of no less than eldest Aunt, super specialist doctor, Shishta Nadda Basu. Congratulations Prachi, you won everyone's heart! And Girish, even in defeat, feels happy & elated for his Lady Love that she came up with flying colors! So thus Prachi truly enters The Gang!
Puja and a 'Hawan' ceremony solemnized by Pandit ji is an integral part of Vadhu Pravesh. It is to seek the Blessings of The Almighty for the happiness of the family and to bring purity in the house. This is always followed by paying obeisance at the Family Temple.
In traditional families, it's a noble custom to go to the Elders at the conclusion of a ceremony to pay your respects by bending down, touching their feet & seeking their blessings. The elders in their turn shower good wishes, give warm hugs, cheer up the spirits and give them a very well thought out gift which will always be cherished by the Young. In the photos you will see the Couple with the very eldest Grand Aunt just under the young and bubbling age of 102 years, her younger sister and Grand Aunt closing on to 90 years and then their very eminent Brother and Girish's Grand Pa, Dr NL Nadda, at the energetic & dynamic 96 years. You can yourself imagine and gauge to what heights of happiness the combined Blessings of these leading lights will take Girish & Prachi!
In Indian homes generous hospitality is never in short supply, whatever the occasion, you cannot go away without a meal. So the thousand neighborhood well-wishers who had come in to welcome Girish & Prachi were all invited to a 'Dham' which is a four to five course community feast.
Now, we look forward to talking about the festivities at Receptions, first at the Family Home in Himachal Pradesh and then at the place of work in New Delhi, where lots of colleagues and friends live.

Anatomy-7 Gallery Vadhu Pravesh (Part-2): https://photos.app.goo.gl/58SJhTCqWkmxCiRA8

THE ANATOMY OF A TRADITIONAL NORTH INDIAN WEDDING (6) - VADHU PRAVESH (Part-1)

THE ANATOMY OF A TRADITIONAL NORTH INDIAN WEDDING (6) - VADHU PRAVESH (Part-1) - It's about ceremonies embracing the arrival & welcome of the Bride, and her crossing over the threshold of her new home. It's a long travel from Pushkar in the desert region of Rajasthan to the family home in the lower Himalayas at Vijaypur (Bilaspur), Himachal Pradesh. Pandit ji works out the auspicious time that the Newly Weds must arrive. And the vast neighborhood of a thousand people are there to welcome.
The last lap of arrival of the Bride & Bridegroom is in two PALKIS (Palanquins) amidst lots & lots of fanfare and dance. Have a peep at the photos. Sitting atop an open Palki is Girish with a triumphant look, surrounded by a procession of rejoicing, dancing folks. During the bygone era, victorious leaders after big conquests came home in this way. Well, winning the heart of your Lady Love and bringing her home as a Bride is the biggest of all conquests!! All men agree! Following up, is Prachi in a covered Palki - it's considered modest for the Bride to be in a covered Palki. And the dancing by the folks is even more vigorous for her, the beat of the drums yet louder - only to express how deeply they welcome her. It's a change of mood for the Bride after a tearful 'VIDAI' at the departure from her home. You would be wondering what thoughts & impressions Prachi would have had peeping out through eyelets of the covered Palki. She hasn't revealed. I imagine that as a modern, well educated girl she would be heartily enjoying the thrill emanating around her. 
Several of her family members too would have arrived on the invitation of Girish's parents to partake in the ongoing ceremonies & would be part of this procession. Many of the ceremonies are an amalgamation of the traditions followed in the two regions of North India - it leads to a warm fusion & union of the two families.
Hereon, it is the Mother-in-law of the Bride, Girish's very affable & gracious Mom, Malika Nadda, who will be in the focus of all ceremonies and she will be closely helped by his aunt, Nupur Nadda. Senior aunts Shishta Nadda Basu, Mukta Sharma and Veena Upadhyay will be close at hand to give some finer points. As you see, it is a Ladies' show. Men form the cheering party.
At the doorstep they all await for Girish & Prachi to dismount from their Palkis. Malika & Nupur do the 'Aarti' , apply 'Tilak' to the Couple, give symbolic money to the Bride and welcome her. 'Aarti' is the moving of a silver plate of 'Diyas' (lighted lamps of Ghee & cotton wicks), flowers and Vermillion in front of the Bride & Bridegroom to bless them and welcome their entry into the home. As you notice in the photos, Prachi has a 'Ghungat' or veil with her 'Dupatta' or stole. During the bygone era, the Bride kept her face always covered from the elder men of the family, indeed from the elder men of the village, as a mark of modesty and respect. In modern times, the Ghungat is done only to follow old traditions during such a ceremony. And it is done with elan & style for the ensemble to project a demure and gorgeous look - so I'm told! You know how the Veil of a Bride in a Christian marriage is romanticized - In a traditional Hindu marriage it is taken to yet another level.
Also at the doorstep is the 'Milni'. Remember there was 'Milni' when Girish's Baraat reached the Bride's home for the wedding ceremony - that was for the introduction of the menfolk of the two families. This 'Milni' is for the ladies and girls of the two families - the Moms, the Aunts, the Sisters, the Cousins...... Warm hugs, nice little gifts to the ladies & girls from Rajasthan to strengthen their bonds.
The Bride has not yet crossed THE THRESHOLD of her new home. Let's do that in the next Chapter (7). Some thrilling things will happen.

Anatomy-6 Gallery Vadhu Pravesh (Part 1):    https://photos.app.goo.gl/maD9diTdkaC3Vkmz9

THE ANATOMY OF A TRADITIONAL NORTH INDIAN WEDDING (4)

THE ANATOMY OF A TRADITIONAL NORTH INDIAN WEDDING (5) - Finally The Actual Wedding Ceremony - It’s a long, long sequence but I’ll make a short chronicle. (The photo album will fill in the blanks).The ceremony happens at the Bride’s home which is colourfully decorated. The groom gets decked up by his sisters/cousin sisters at the resort where they would be staying & he might travel in a vintage car about half a KM short of the Bride’s place. The rest of his family & friends called “BARAAT” (maybe a few hundred) reach the spot. Thereon the groom climbs on to a grey mare & if you are in the deserts then it would be a camel or an elephant. A typical brass band plays blaring, energetic tunes and slowly moves ahead of the Baraat- the dynamic ones dance along. The distance of 500m may take an hour.
At the Bride’s place the groom dismounts & is welcomed by her parents by applying the ‘tilak’ - vermilion paste on the forehead. ‘Milni’ ie introductions of the immediate family members of the two sides with exchange of a garland & a little souvenir.
The real moment comes then as the groom & the bride climb the stage - it’s the ‘VARMALA’ or ‘JAIMALA’ time. It’s an old tradition since Vedic times 5000 years ago - the girl garlands the boy accepting him as one worthy of her. The boy reciprocates. THIS IS THE MOMENT WHEN BOTH MAKE THE ACTUAL COMMITMENT. Big applause follows.
Dinner is served - a big feast. Most of the people in the Baraat leave for home & the immediate family members stay back for the marriage ceremony which often begins past midnight and the rituals last about 3-4 hours - you need grit & stamina to get wedded.
The ceremony is done around ‘AGNI’ - the sacred fire regarded as a purifier and sustainer of life. Pandit ji recites shlokas, mantras, prayers in Sanskrit. The couple do the SAAT PHERAS (seven slow laps around the fire) and Pandit ji administers the seven vows of love, fidelity, duty, loyalty.....The parents do their bidding as per rituals. The Bridegroom applies SINDOOR (vermilion - cosmetic red powder) on the parting of the hair of the Bride and that confirms the wedding.
And then there is VIDAI - ‘departure’ which is a mix of sadness and joy for the Bride’s parents as their daughter is going away from their home to another home.
It’s a shortcut description & you can apply your imagination as you view the photos.
WE ARE NOT DONE YET - you would like to know about the celebrations by the parents of the Bridegroom.

Anatomy-5 Gallery Wedding: https://photos.app.goo.gl/obPZ7p7rSrdBH7yTA

THE ANATOMY OF A TRADITIONAL NORTH INDIAN WEDDING (3)

THE ANATOMY OF A TRADITIONAL NORTH INDIAN WEDDING (3) - Now about Ceremonies & Events. I’ll skip some. Among the early major ceremonies are the MEHNDI & HALDI, held in that order on different days. The ‘two families’ can have them in their respective abodes & in this case, Girish & Prachi’s families decided to celebrate together at Girish’s. Watch the photos - they will give you some idea.
MEHNDI (Henna) is an inalienable element of the traditional Bridal Makeup called SOLAH SHRINGAR (16 Bridal adornments)- and it’s done a day prior to the wedding day after some Puja by the Pandit ji with lots & lots of fanfare. I might tell you that as per mythology, a Bride is held at a high pedestal & is equated with the divinity of LAKSHMI, the Goddess of prosperity & beauty. Mehndi is primarily for the bride and for all ladies and girls; the Bridegroom gets a symbolic large dot of Mehndi on the palms of his hands. There’s music, there is dance and there are often local artistes adding to the atmosphere. Menfolk are all there as interested spectators. Needless to say, every ceremony is accompanied by a huge feast. Local delicacies are always part of the Fare.
HALDI (Turmeric) ceremony is one of the important & auspicious rituals. The decor is mostly yellow and everyone usually wears yellow clothes. Haldi signifies purity, fertility & good health, it brings glow to the skin, purity to the soul, relaxation to the mind. A Turmeric paste is prepared with gram flour, sandalwood grains and yoghurt - it is rubbed all over the bride and the bridegroom. All others - men, women & children - too apply some paste on each other’s faces symbolically. The elders bless the Bride & the Bridegroom after which they go for a well deserved bath. The inevitable Feast of course follows. If you are in the desert state of Rajasthan then the popular triple dish of DAL-BAATI-CHURMA is always there. Dal is a mix of four or five different lentils, Baatis are whole wheat baked balls nicely soaked in desi ghee & Churma is finely crumbled Baatis/Rotis mixed with jaggery or sugar. At these feasts you never realise when you over-indulge.

Anatomy-3 Gallery Haldi:         https://photos.app.goo.gl/ziEf2HWZHGp2sXQH8

THE ANATOMY OF A TRADITIONAL NORTH INDIAN WEDDING (2)

THE ANATOMY OF A TRADITIONAL NORTH INDIAN WEDDING (2) - The wedding we are dealing with here is very traditional, the focus is on ‘essential ceremonies’; warm hospitality, fun, frolic, music, dance, party atmosphere, revelry go on side by side - after all it is a celebration. It’s a wedding with lots of fanfare, lots of generous looking after by the parents, yet no extravagance. Guests come from far and wide to express their love and support of the family and to bless the young couple.
The ceremonies of every wedding are related to the traditions & customs of the regions that the two families (Bridegroom’s & Bride’s families) hail from. In this case it was Himachal Pradesh centric (Bridegroom’s home), some Bengali flavour and plenty of North Rajasthani aroma - that’s because of the ‘family configuration’ of both sides. Before we reach the chapters that describe all events, let’s start from the beginning. Oh! I know what you want to know : yes, the young handsome guy and the very pretty damsel studied in the same school in their formative years......that’s the beginning!
The elders of the family (the grand parents) give their approval after ‘due diligence’. So then the Pandit ji goes through horoscopes - none of us understand those technicalities - the most auspicious date is suggested. Then every event revolves around that date. The hard work begins. A very detailed and comprehensive invitation card is designed with details of event, place, time, dress - not an easy task. Meanwhile, advance information is sent out to near & dear, family, friends to “block the dates” (May be several months away). The “couriers” for the delivery of the invitation cards are family members who go and personally request for your presence - the Card is delivered with a box of sweets or chocolates and often with an appropriate gift. It’s so personal and emanates warmth - so you make every effort to be there. If you live far away, for example on the Pacific coast in a place called White Rock in Canada, then you get messages, telephone calls and e-invitation card - so that motivates you to cross the seven seas and be part of the celebrations.
You can have a glimpse of a typical traditional wedding invitation card.
And then, when you reach the first venue, you reach out to the parents & take a click.

Anatomy-2 Gallery: https://photos.app.goo.gl/9kgbP49f7TjNJANq9

THE ANATOMY OF A TRADITIONAL NORTH INDIAN WEDDING (1)

THE ANATOMY OF A TRADITIONAL NORTH INDIAN WEDDING (1) - For the purposes of this series of posts, let’s call the young, just married couple, as PRACHI & GIRISH NADDA There are going to be a few chapters. No daily posts as I am a bit on the move. Let’s kill one or two issues right at the outset. Why do Indian Parents expend so much of their hard-earned resources on a child’s wedding? The simple answer is that it is a life long bonding and so it has to be a big celebration. Why do the ceremonies, rituals and celebrations last days or even weeks? And why do Friends & Family travel from far & wide to come to participate in all the revelry. To explain it in a rudimentary way - like it or not, you are stuck with each other in all the ups & downs. THERE IS NO EQUIVALENT OF THE WORD “DIVORCE” in Sanskrit, Hindi, Gurmukhi & so on. That’s too rudimentary. The real answer is : “Hello kids, we are all here to strengthen your love for each other & we are going to be with you forever - with both of you. Keep the flag flying high”. So the young couple never, ever forgets this message as the ups & downs (often more downs than ups) of life go on, as they enjoy the tranquility & and together take on the challenge of the inevitable turbulences that will confront them.
THE ANATOMY OF A TRADITIONAL NORTH INDIAN WEDDING - these posts are not going to be from a book. I’ll try to put live scenes before you. 

Anatomy-1 Gallery:      https://photos.app.goo.gl/LydE6hTMgokzvPXTA