FACETS OF A NORTH INDIAN WEDDING-1 (Recast in Carona Times)- ‘Roka’, ‘Tika’, ‘Chunni’ - All these are Pre-Wedding ceremonies. ‘Roka’ is the initial informal approval of the Groom by the Bride’s family. Usually the two families get introduced to each other at a luncheon. Some vermillion on the Boy’s forehead & token cash gifts (called ‘Shagun’) to him by the Girl’s people thus expressing approval. This took place in August 2020.
The Stars are Ankita Batish and Karan Advani. She the daughter of Anila & Virendar and he the son of Pratibha & Sanjay.
Some weeks or months later comes the formal approval called ‘Tika’ - literally meaning a vertical vermillion mark done on the forehead of the Groom with the right thumb. The ceremony is held at the Groom’s hometown. There is a Puja (short prayer) by Panditji, applying of Tika by the Bride’s Dad, Mom, Brothers and others and giving of gifts and sweets.
Then happens the ‘Chunni’ ceremony. ‘Chunni’ means the stole used by ladies to cover the head/shoulders. This usually takes place at the Bride’s hometown through a visit by the Groom’s people. A Chunni is draped on the Bride’s head as a blessing and a gesture of happiness in welcoming her to become part of the groom’s family. It also signifies a formal engagement. All ceremonies are followed by a banquet. So in Carona Times the two ceremonies were merged together to reduce the number of get-together. The venue was the magnificent heritage Maidens Hotel in Delhi on 01 November 2020.
At the Stage some poetry, some beautiful speeches, some stories - all concerning the ‘Stars’ Ankita & Karan - some music, some well rehearsed dance moves and a subdued ‘jam session’.
Here on, the Focal Point will be Ankita’s hometown, Chandigarh.
Ankita Batish
, Karan Advani
, Virendar Batish
, Anila Sharma, Aman Batish
, Amiya Raina
.Some snippets of the three ceremonies in the album below.
FACETS OF A NORTH INDIAN WEDDING-2 - Satya Narain Katha & then some fun, some sing song, some dance - pre wedding prayers & celebrations go hand-in-hand - usually last many a day.
Satya Narain Katha is to pay obeisance to Lord Vishnu : the supreme God of the Hindus. Vishnu is the creator, protector & preserver of the Universe. His Blessings are sought on all auspicious occasions such as a wedding. Well a ‘KATHA’ is truly a form of storytelling that brings out some lovely lessons to be followed for good morals & happiness. This Katha can be recited (read out) by anyone & if you have a learned Pandit ji handy then it makes it yet more interesting for he invokes a lot of accompaniments - incense sticks, honey, yogurt, rice grains, vermillion, sacred thread.....The ‘Prashad’ - the holy token food blessed by the Gods - is quite different for Satya Narain Katha as from other Pujas. It is primarily roasted whole wheat flour, ghee, powdered sugar and dry fruits - everyone is offered in a mini bowl about 10-12 mouthfuls of it but mind you it’s not only very palatable but one looks for more (Photo makes it clear). So the Blessings are done! The fun begins.
Marriage is a great family celebration. And what is a celebration without a drink, without some sing song, without some dance. All the latent talent comes out - all the hidden talent. An awesome revelation of that flair to entertain. Young & old - especially the old giving a lesson of how to be young.
LET THE PHOTO ALBUM SPEAK FOR ITSELF - seeing is believing
FACETS OF A NORTH INDIAN WEDDING-3 - MEHNDI CEREMONY. Things start warming up as we close in on ANKITA & KARAN'S wedding day. Mehndi Ceremony is the premier element of a Bride's "Solah Shringar" - sixteen bridal adornments.
We'll talk about it in a moment. Just a few words of what modern day 'technology' offers. Nothing wrong about it - in fact it is a great resource, a well developed amenity to give a nice look, to give that 'feel good' factor. Weddings provide a special opportunity, a genuine excuse especially for ladies to head for Beauty Parlours - these centres are today into super specialisation. You can hop from one to the other mostly with prior appointments just as you would seek appointments with super specialist doctors (!!): Beauty Salon, Hair Salon, Pedicure Salon, Manicure Salon, Nails Salon...and it's all for the good as you feel nice from head to toe. Beauty aesthetics and styling raise your self esteem, make you feel happy when you look into the mirror, raise your morale when someone says words of admiration...........
Back to "Solah Shringar". I have explained it a few months ago in an earlier post too. A Bride is A BRIDE who, as per Hindu mythology, is held at a high pedestal & is equated with the divinity of LAKSHMI, the Goddess of prosperity, fertility & beauty. So the 'sixteen bridal adornments' are there to do what the modern day Salons do - to give that indescribable bridal look. MEHNDI (Henna) has many good uses and one of the time tested one is to exploit it to give special organic glowing designs on the hands and arms. Mehndi ceremony is done a day prior to the wedding day after some Puja by the Pandit ji with lots & lots of fanfare. Mehndi is primarily for the bride and for all ladies and girls; the Bridegroom gets a symbolic large dot of Mehndi on the palms of his hands. Ladies and girls get some more colourful, more vibrant, more jazzy 'bits and pieces' to add to style, to their happiness: multi colour bangles, bracelets, armlets. The men like it too for there are yet greater opportunities to express admiration. There’s music, there is dance by your very own girls and there are often local artistes adding to the atmosphere. Menfolk are there to applaud. Always, every ceremony is accompanied by a huge feast.
The photo album below will give you a nice feel of the Mehndi Ceremony
FACETS OF NORTH INDIAN WEDDING-4 - SOCIALS WITH ‘BARAATIS’. Before we talk about the remaining formal ceremonies of ANKITA & KARAN’S wedding, let me give you an idea of ‘how & why’ of related social events. Typically, a ‘Baraat’ stands for the groom’s party that usually comes rejoicing with the accompaniment of blaring music of a brass band to the venue of the wedding ceremony where the bride & her people await to welcome the ‘Baraatis’. Who are the ‘Baraatis’? They are the relatives and close friends of the groom’s family. In the broader sense, a ‘Baraat’ is the groom’s party that comes to the bride’s hometown for a few days to participate in pre-wedding & wedding ceremonies and the ‘Baraatis’ are the esteemed guests of the bride’s family for the entire stay.
Apart from participating in ceremonies, socials are organised, usually in a celebratory and grand way. This is a great way of not just the two families getting to know each other intimately but also close friends of both sides getting introduced to each other. Rapport & friendship developed here go a long way in strengthening the life-long marriage bonds of the Young Couple. The apparent lavish expenditures of time and money are really one of the greatest investments for everlasting happy marriages. That is an aspect often missed out by those who wonder why the bride’s parents go to such lengths!! Likewise the ‘Mehndi Ceremony’, the venue for the two socials - a welcome dinner on the first evening & a celebratory ‘Cocktails & Dinner’ the second evening was the splendid Hyatt Regency hotel of Chandigarh.
Here is a photo album of the two Socials:
FACETS OF NORTH INDIAN WEDDING-5. HALDI (Turmeric) ceremony is one of the important & auspicious rituals. It's a combination of a religious ceremony and a fun & frolic event...... The world knows Turmeric is an essential spice in Indian food; the world also now knows what India has known for over 4000 years that Turmeric has important medicinal values. And the world is learning more about Turmeric as it reads about our wedding rituals...... Let's switch to the ceremony called HALDI. It is a family affair which usually goes on at the bride's & bridegroom's homes separately. We are now at the beautiful bride, Ankita's home. The morning starts with about an hour's Puja headed by the Panditji calling upon the Gods for good health and happiness of the Bride. Haldi signifies purity, fertility & good health, it brings glow to the skin, purity to the soul, relaxation to the mind. A Turmeric paste is prepared with gram flour, sandalwood grains and yoghurt - it is rubbed all over the bride. Everyone present goes up to the bride and symbolically applies the paste on her face while the 'Chirpy Ladies' sing out a playful running commentary as each takes his/her turn. All others - men, women & children - chase one another to apply palm-fulls of turmeric paste on each other’s faces.You HAVE to be a sport while the 'attack' is on you.The elders bless the Bride. It's time to take a wash - but that's not straightforward. The brothers ceremonially escort Ankita out under a colorful moving cloth 'roof' to the patio. The local Drummer (Dholak Wala) takes over as a self appointed Master of Ceremony with the reverberating drum beats - he invites relation-wise to do a jig for Ankita - Grandmas, Grandpa, Dad, Mom, Aunts, Uncles, Brothers, Sisters, Brothers-in-law, Sisters-in-law....the atmosphere is full of laughter, merriment, frolic. Water is symbolically poured over Ankita so after which she could go for a well deserved shower. Meanwhile sing-song, whirling & twirling continue. But one more activity - for all eligible Bachelorettes & Bachelors - while they all kneel down, Ankita stands behind them and over their heads shakes off bits and pieces of her 'Kaleras' (silver adornments hanging from her wrists) - that's wishing them luck in finding their life partners As Soon As Possible - ASAP. That brings great cheer on the faces of these eligible ones!!! (Hey! - that's the photo Google has picked out as the lead photo in this post). Some concluding Puja and blessings from all...The inevitable Feast of course follows.
FACETS OF A NORTH INDIAN WEDDING-6 -- The Wedding Ceremonies & Banquet. This event happens at the venue chosen by the Bride's family - in this case Ankita's family organised it at The Hyatt Regency, Chandigarh. A quick summary of the sequence of 'happenings' before I describe in some detail. All timings are worked out around the auspicious hours that the Pandit ji calculates. Summary: Arrival of guests of Ankita's family, arrival of Baraat, Milni, Jai Mala, Wedding Ceremony, Vidai; meanwhile the Bar is active and the banquet dinner is on. Remember these are Covid-19 days - so events are recast suitably especially on the numbers of guests at each venue. The Bride's family guests arrive early and await to welcome the Baraat which is far smaller than the usual 'hundreds' and the groom is walking up at the lead, sans the traditional mount - a Grey Mare - and without the brass band and all jigs & bhangra that usually are the norm. In keeping with the prevailing situation, it is a quiet entry. A welcome 'tilak' -vermillion paste- to the Groom's forehead and a namaste to each of the Baraatis. As per Doctor's Orders NO 'Milni' - that is, formal introductions of family members of both sides through garlands & hugs. Karan, the tall & handsome Bridegroom, is escorted to the decked-up stage where he awaits the arrival of his Lady Love. Here is where the two will soon be making their final & real commitment to marry each other. Even as the merriment is going on, Ankita in her resplendent wedding regalia is ceremonially escorted by her Brothers to the hall and on to the Stage. What we shall witness is 'Jai Mala' (also known as 'Var Mala') - It’s an old tradition since Vedic times 5000 years ago - the girl garlands the boy accepting him as one worthy of her. The boy reciprocates. That's the final commitment. A big applause follows. Lots of group photographs that will be part of a memorable photo album. The Feast that is well underway by now has a further boost - many get propelled to the Bar & others head for the numerous Food Stalls of different cuisines. Soon will be the marriage ceremony which is done at a 'Mandap' which is a decorated structure erected under the open sky some distance away from where the merriment goes on. On either side of it, seating arrangements are made for those who wish to witness the rituals that may last 2-4 hours, depending upon the speed at which the Pandit jis discharge their holy responsibilities. The ceremony is done around ‘AGNI’ - the sacred fire regarded as a purifier and sustainer of life. This sacred fire is of Wood and Ghee and vapours emanating from this combination are said to add strength to the Ozone Layer in the atmosphere, thus aiding the environment! Pandit jis recite shlokas, mantras, prayers in Sanskrit. In this case there were two Pandit jis doing the honours, sometimes laced with arguments on matters of 'procedure'!! Wise people will always have differences of opinion. The couple do the SAAT PHERAS (seven slow laps around the fire) and Pandit jis administer the seven vows of love, fidelity, duty, loyalty.....AND THE FINAL PLEDGE THAT THEY WILL BE COMPANIONS FOR LIFE. The parents do their bidding as per rituals. The Bridegroom applies SINDOOR (vermilion - cosmetic red powder) on the parting of the hair of the Bride and that confirms the wedding. Guests disperse after the customary blessings and felicitations. And then there is VIDAI - ‘Departure’. For this ceremony the young couple head for Ankita's family home along with Pandit jis and close family members. 'Vidai' is a mix of sadness and joy for the Bride’s parents as their daughter is going away from their home to another home. For Ankita & Karan it is the beginning of an era!
WITH THIS I WISH ANKITA & KARAN A VERY HAPPY WEDDED LIFE
Here is a Photo Album for you to scan through.
